Lost Romance and Break-Ups

I've been watching someone close to me suffer through a breakup over these last few weeks. I understand his pain and his loss, yet, I can't help wishing that reality would set in and that he begin to understand why his relationship was doomed to failure.

In any relationship, it takes two to tango. The moment one partner says or announces to the other that the relationship is over, it is incredibly unlikely that they can rekindle the flames they once felt for one another. Whenever we examine our partners and our relative positions to one another, it is critical that there be a balance in the relationship. One partner must be aware of the other's needs and must recognize what is going on with the other.

My friend is ranting on and on about how their relationship ran for two years. I tried to explain that two years is a good length of time, they should be happy for the memories that two years can bring. It's important to recognize that not all relationships will last forever. While we may hope that to be the case, more often than not, it won't.

As individuals in a relationship, we must recognize that we need to be strong as individuals, and therefore, hopefully bring all that we can positively into a relationship. If one party is too needy and relies on the other for his/her joy and happiness in life, then that should be a clear warning sign. A good partnership needs a good foundation for growth and upkeep.

The age at which our partners are at the time we begin a relationship, and the age at which the relationship breaks, can often be an indicator of one person changing or growing without the other. As an example, if you start up with someone just beginning to go to college, and then later when, the one individual is finishing up a degree, and while the other partner is content to have remained the same in educational status during the other's time of development, may or may not understand or be in the same position to relate well with the other. Women often are quite pragmatic. What type of a job does the partner have? What kind of money do they bring in? What kinds of friends does the partner have? What are the prospects in any given arena for a partner? If one person is growing, the other needs to either keep pace or be positively working to create a viable partnership that remains desirable to the other.

Communication is critical. Guess what? IF one partner cannot tell that the other is unhappy or getting set to make a break, then the relationship is not strong any longer. Just because one partner seems to believe that the relationship is great and wonderful to him or her, doesn't necessarily mean that the relationship feels that way to the other. It takes courage and resolve to recognize the truth where one stands relative to another, and it takes the same to make a decision whether to move on or not.

These are just some of the things that need to be understood about relationships. It is never an easy thing to find a good relationship, it is always difficult to let go as well. One thing I truly have learned is that if you have a good capacity for love, the likelihood that you can find another to love? It's very likely. I wish that everyone can find someone they can enjoy being with even if the dance only lasts for a fleeting moment in time. But if one is aware and works at remaining a great partner, and if the other partner is willing, the dance may last longer than you hoped for.